My roller coaster ride

It was a week like any other. Nothing new, just memorable because of the great start I had this particular Wednesday morning. It began with JT coming into my room at some ungodly hour, climbing in the bed next to me and falling asleep till 6.30am. A much welcomed change to talking incessantly, flopping all over the bed frustrated at a groggy mum or introducing all his ‘favourite’ toys and books to me to entice me to play – all at 5am(ish).

 

That morning was particularly nice due to my roller coaster ride with my intolerance’s and allergies and the effects they have on my psyche. The previous two mornings we were “up and at ’em” at the crack of dawn (this was pre daylight savings time so the crack is absurdly early :)). Anyway….not only did I have to get up at the crack, but I awoke to infected sinuses, an accompanying headache, a tumultuous tummy and such overwhelming lethargy I could barely move. But move I did.

 

For anyone who has suffered depression or deals with anxiety issues, has irritable bowel, sinus, allergies or muscle aches, I know you can relate. Those with auto immune diseases will also gel with my story, but for those of you who are lucky enough to be in good health most of the time, just put your head space into flu mode and you may be able join me on the roller coaster ride that is my life.

 

I cannot know in advance when I will have a flare up, unless of course it is self inflicted (some times it is just soooo hard to say no to something you crave and love so much). I try to be very vigilant about what goes in to my body and steering clear of known allergens but there is little you can do about coming in contact with trees or cut grass for example. Anyhoo, I digress. Apart from the debilitating physical side effects my little “quirks” bring to the party, it is the mental mind games that do the most damage.

 

During that week, like most that follow this cycle, I lose all confidence in my abilities. I want to shut down my blog. I see the catastrophe of the weeks passing without me building the right relationships. I see missed opportunities. I see a mountain of work to catch up on. I see others succeeding. I feel I should just give up!

 

I hate these low days. My mind goes on a downward spiral that is neither helpful or productive. I feel helpless and thats a shitty place to be. I often can’t focus very well and walk around in circles A LOT. The housework falls behind, my to do list goes to potty and the vision of building my blog/business gets very blurry. Those ‘must do’ errands, become a ‘whenever the hell I bloody hell I feel like it’ task and everything else gets relegated to the next status down.

 

Luckily, this no longer goes on for weeks as it did in the past and generally as a rule of thumb (recently anyway, knock on wood) by Wednesday I am sitting on the hump. I have struggled to get here and am now teetering between feeling downright awful and about to hit the good times.

 

As you guessed it, the week culminates in me feeling bouncy and alive! That particular week, the Thursday and Friday hit 30 degrees in old Sydney town and you see me basking in all of it’s glory. I have energy, my mind is buzzing with possibilities and I am back on track again. I have ideas bounding out of my head for blog posts, I get stuck into the backlog and if I’m lucky can get started on the weekly tasks. Maybe next week, we can look at the wish list and get this blog/business fire burning.

 

Where does your head space wander to when you are feeling unwell?

 

Until next time….

Becc

My very first Girl Crush

So, I’m sitting in the car repair shop. They said it would take 1 hour but it is now nearing 3 hours and I have the shits! Luckily they have really good coffee (it’s also a Mercedes dealership so they bloody well should). They also have WiFi (bonus), but there is only so much “playing” you can do on an iPhone – right? Then I spy the magazine rack and my anger begins to diffuse as I discover my very first Girl Crush.

 

I believe it was Harper’s Bazaar. I picked it up and soon enough came across an article on Roberta Armani. I don’t know why I stopped to read it as I just assumed she was as vacuous as some of those born into famous/rich families, however in this case I was pleasantly surprised.

 

In my anger – prior to coming across this article – I had asked “the guy” to wrap up the car clean even though it was a free part of the service….c’mon it was 3 hours later and I was trapped with no way to get home, no way to get back and still a little confused on when I would be able to escape. But here I found myself wishing and pleading with the universe to make them take their time so I could finish up this fabulous read.

 

What was so enticing about this article? I think that can be summed up in her words:

 

“If you look for happiness outside yourself it will be a weak kind of happiness. You can meet the most amazing man, but if you are not centered and happy within yourself, the man will probably disappear. I am trying to fall in love with myself”.

 

That was just her take on finding a partner. Being the niece of such a big name and working for Armani I just expected some sort of sense of entitlement. There was none and the more I read about her the more I began to recognise my very first Girl Crush!

 

Possibly if I wasn’t in such a strong marriage, I may have started to reconsider my sexuality!!

 

I later read an article on Deborah Mailman in the Woman’s Weekly where she stated that she “got to a point where I had to deal with my own demons and insecurities and talk myself into being kind to myself and start loving who I am, warts and all. I guess it’s called growing up. I just think as women we have to start being more kind to ourselves”….are you sensing a theme here?

 

I have to say, I do think I have had girly crushes before. If I really look back I think my very first girl crush must have been Olivia Newton-John, but she was everyone’s around the time of Grease. I think I’ve dabbled a bit with Miranda Kerr and Megan Gale, but although all of these women have amazing things to say, I think those crushes may have been a little superficial as they already seem to have that self love, self knowledge and sense of purpose. Maybe I’m more attracted to those who are still searching for that self acceptance that seems to allude the rest of us mere mortals.

 

I personally have come a long way in my pursuit of ‘falling in love with myself’ and building my confidence. I have recognised that I love flawed people. Does anyone really like someone who appears to be perfect? What is there to like about perfect? It is boring, dull and annoying. So, if this is the case, why wouldn’t I love my fabulously flawed self? Maybe I’m directing my affections toward the wrong place, maybe I should be crushing on me.

 

Have you had a girl crush? Tell us who it was and why in the comments section below.

 

Till next time….

 

Becc

The riddle of kids band-aids

Seriously what is the go? Why are kids band-aids so small? Yes, I am not completely clueless, I understand kids are little, but their war wounds certainly are not! And that is the riddle of kids band-aids.

 

Recently JT (3yrs) came a cropper after falling from a swing. The surface they use at parks these days do an absolute number on kids clothing, let alone their skin, see evidence below….

Anyway, I digress. Once the initial shock and howling was over, his first request was to put a band-aid on it. Not a problem says Mum (that’s me). I can fix it with a kiss and a bandage cause I’m a really good mum…..

 

Evidence that I’m a really good mum – I did a pretty good job with this little gouge which is healing nicely 🙂

So, we get home, put some special mum ointment on it (that’s antiseptic to you) and we pull out our hoard of bandages. Now herein is where the band-aid dilemma lies – which size? You see, none of the padded parts in my stash are large enough to cover the area. I can find some big brown material style bandages but they just won’t do (heaven forbid the bandage is useful and not adorned with Wiggles, smiley faces or dinosaurs). Seriously, try telling a screaming child that the big brown thing will work much better than Wags the Dog and you’ve lost before you’ve even started.

 

Nevertheless we soldier on. I pick out the biggest ones we have and place two of them on the graze. It looks good, it covers the whole area, but the reality is that the sticky bits are attached to the broken skin – ouch!!

This is about the 4th time JT’s poor little knee has been bashed and banged about, so this is not an unusual occurrence for kids (particularly boys). So, I ask again, why are kids band-aids so small?

 

If you have found the solution to the riddle of kids band-aids, please share your insights in the comments section below.

 

P.S. I am aware that band-aid is a brand name, but it has also become synonymous for plasters in Oz. It is therefore in this form that I use the words band-aid to cover all adhesive bandages.

 

P.P.S. All injuries were sustained in the line of duty, that of being a little boy. Events occurred falling off swings, foraging in the “tall tree woods” and racing to get to the beach before his father 🙂

 

Till next time…

 

Becc

Why date night is so important

I believe date nights are as good as a holiday. Kind of like a mini holiday treat where you get to reconnect, talk at leisure and concentrate on each other. There are no children to distract you, no daily complications to grind you down and no ruts to fall into. It is just a time to celebrate the life you have together and that is one of the many reasons why date night is so important.

 

They say a change is as good as a holiday. I think it could be said that date night gives you that much needed change from the daily grind. What kind of changes you ask? Well think about it, when was the last time you were able to be spontaneous together or enjoy each others company without interruption? What a lovely and indulgent change it is! And don’t underestimate the anticipation of the lead up and excitement on the day -some say half the fun of the holiday is in the build up towards it, so suck it all in and enjoy.

 

My husband and I are hurtling towards our 10 year anniversary (no doubt you will hear plenty about this as we plan our celebrations) but big milestones are begging to be celebrated aren’t they? It’s often when you are plodding along in the marriage on a daily basis that you need a small time out to reconnect with your soul. True, this could be found at a day spa, a shopping trip or even reading a good book outside under a tree, but nothing that I’ve personally experienced beats date night!

 

My husband and I realised the necessity of date night not too long after our son was born. So, after a couple of years we instigated a monthly date night to refocus on ourselves and have some (what we call) “selfish time”. We call it “selfish time” and are self confessed selfish people, but in reality, date night is so very far from selfish. Taking the time to rejuvenate and keep the marriage alive is probably the biggest and best gift you can give to your children and to each other.

 

Recently, my husband and I had a date night, well actually it was a date weekend – even better!! We had missed a number of dates over recent months due to other obligations, so, when the opportunity came up to have two full days together we jumped at the chance. Admittedly we spent a small fortune and our next date night will have to be a much less glamorous affair, but boy was it worth it!

 

Two full days to eat, drink and be merry, it was bliss! There is nothing better than a fabulous sunny day in Sydney. Waking up to views of the harbour, finding fabulous food (don’t worry I am thankfully not intolerant to seafood and Sydney has spectacular seafood), strolling through the Rocks and browsing the designer label shops. The fact that hubby updated my Gucci handbag just topped off an already sensational day.

 

Back at the hotel you can’t go past the members lounge. In our case it was the Intercontinental where we sipped champagne on the level 31 balcony, chatted over canapés and took in the spectacular views. Back to the room to watch movies, take baths and whatever else takes your fancy must also rank as premium bonding time – but enough about that!

 

Giving your mind time to unwind does wonders for your own health which is an added bonus to the multitude of pluses date night provides. Relaxing, planning, togetherness, are not usually words that you associate with being part of a family, so taking time out to add those activities into your schedule is an absolute MUST!

 

So what is holding you back? Get out there. Enjoy each other and come back to your family rejuvenated, refreshed and renewed – just like that post holiday glow 🙂

 

By the way, I do not apologise for not updating my status, adding a blog post or sending Instagrams over that weekend and would suggest that you do the same….just saying.

 

What obstacles get in the way of your date nights? How do you overcome them?

How to survive special occasions with food intolerances

Food chemical intolerances can complicate your life, but none more so than when you need to eat out. It is hard enough to restructure your whole diet and relearn everything you know about healthy eating, but trying to convey the message to wait staff, friends or family can be a mission! So, how do you survive special occasions with food intolerances?

 

My husband and I have made the lifestyle choice to eat out on most weekends. The variety on most menu’s is limited for me and it can sometimes be like playing Russian Roulette, however it is a time out we both enjoy. An added bonus is that my son also learns how to behave in this environment,  practice his table manners and if he’s lucky there will be a play area for him to run around in.

 

As I said previously, the options open to me are generally slim pickings. Some restaurants can be difficult if they do not have knowledgeable staff or a psychotic chef who thinks you will steal their recipe (yes seriously!!).

 

On some magical occasions I can find something sensational. We have found many gems where the restaurants have created dishes for me, tweaked the menu or the poor waitstaff have grilled the chef (pardon the pun) on all ingredients till their feet have worn out going back and forth to the kitchen.

 

Weddings are another minefield. Recently, I had to call a reception hall so I could work out an appropriate menu. I loath to do this which is weird because it shouldn’t be something to worry about, but of course you do. Why? Because for some reason you don’t want to be a ‘pain’. Considering the alternative though, you go ahead and you get through it.

 

I love a great wedding organiser. Not only did I want to be one when I was younger but they really do work for their money. This particular wedding organiser spent 1.5 hours on the phone with me to find something, ANYTHING, that would be suitable for me. We finally managed it though and that girl received a glowing reference from me.

 

The hardest part of a wedding though for me personally is the free flowing wine. I have overcome the hurdle of the preservatives (why exactly do they put them in there – for the pleasure of the hangover maybe?). There are some great drops out there that reduce the preservatives in the wine which are in convenient purse size bottles, however I still have that little issue with the actual grapes they put in there 🙁

 

With intolerances it is the build up that is the enemy and also the reason why they are so hard to diagnose. I can have a glass or two of red wine without a problem, however if I pair it with another intolerance item such as tomatoes I will be as sick as a dog for days. So the problem with wine specifically is that the more glasses you have the more build up you have that pushes your defences down. Now anyone that enjoys a glass of wine or two would know that the alcohol also comes into play and takes your best intentions and throws them out of the window. So, the fabulous idea you had of stopping after the first glass or two seems to get overridden with the new idea to let your hair down and party!!! Oh, and don’t forget that obligatory glass of champagne for toasting – I’m in heaven and hell at the same time.

 

The absolute worst though is friends and family. The main reason is that you just don’t want to put them out or be a burden. At least at a restaurant or wedding you are paying for the service and quality of food, however friends and family are usually casual or spur of the moment affairs. If they are more formal and planned you still feel ill at ease because you have a list as long as your body that you are unable to eat! It also took you FOREVER to find some decent tasting recipes yourself so how are they going to deal with it?

 

Although there are many hurdles in dealing with your food chemical intolerances, there are also ways to survive and I have put together a list that has helped me in the hope it may help you:

 

  • Get over it! Ask, ask, ask about all the ingredients.
  • Seriously, for a moment of embarrassment or awkwardness is it really worth a week in bed?
  • There really are some pluses such as actually liking what your served when you have had a dish specifically prepared for you.
  • There are some places where you are completely stuffed! In these cases the key is to plan – the problem is to remember! Make a note in your
  • diary, pack some snacks or even a main meal if required.
  • Know your boundaries and make a decision. There are times where my willpower and reasoning just won’t hold up and I have made the decision to
  • indulge “just a bit”. Obviously I won’t bend on things that turn me into Linda Blair from the exorcist (you know head spinning and projectile
  • green….well you get the picture) but I will reschedule the next day and accept that I will be less than par – kinda like a hangover but one
  • helluva lot worse.
  • When your family and friends know that eating and drinking the wrong things can make you sick for a day or several weeks, they want to ensure
  • they provide for you. Don’t think of yourself as a burden. All they want is for you to enjoy yourself with them and fretting about food all day
  • is a much bigger burden on them than asking for some alternatives to be available.
  • Remember, there may be some slip ups, but you have come so far. A sick day here and there rather than almost every day is a big accomplishment.

 

Have you ever had to deal with dietary requirements (personal, friend or acquaintance)? Tell us about your experience.